See Something, Say Something

 If im not actively bleeding

Im If im not actively bleeding

Im fine

Im fine that the crinkle in my eyes hide tears

I’m fine that the smile I share holds back cries

I’m fine.

If blood is not dripping down my arm

No one takes a second look

If blood doesn’t drop on the ground then it’s not real

My emotions aren’t real

My kindness isn’t real

My thoughts are the only thing that I have

The thoughts that have me 

Putting blade to skin

The thoughts that has me

Laying dead 

The thoughts that 

Destroy what little hope I have

The thoughts that

I’m better off not 

Not here

Not home

Not safe

Not kind

Not human

Human, ha

I laugh

I laugh until they turn to tears

I laugh until I feel my breath catches 

I start to choke, 

But it’s fine

I’m fine

I’m fine to watch to see what others don’t

I’m fine to see people mind there business 

I’m fine to see the stares but not the voice

Not the voice to ask

Are you okay?

To persist to see the soul that cracks

I’m fine

I will always be fine

I will be alone

I will be scared

I will be tired

I will not have the strength to speak up

I will be alone to the very end

I beg people to see something 

To speak up and say something 

To not hide behind the screens

To avoid the business of others

To see the broken and the glue but 

To walk away.

So here i sit,

Alone

New scars on top of old fine