Letter To Positivity

 Hello, it's nice to finally meet you, to put a face to your name. I want to thank you for sitting down with me and having this conversation. I want to lay the truth out on the table, I have envied you my whole life. You represent positivity, joy, and happiness that sometimes feel sickening too sweet. You don't have a mean bone in your body. You sprout that everyone should think positive and be positive. It makes me gag. That is my honest truth of you, yet I've grown up, I have matured. I have finally learned that what you say and what you do, is to help. You help those that are far too down, for those who are sad and depressed. You have proven to be the light at the end of the tunnel for many people. I've judged you through an old acquaintance, I treated this other girl like she is beneath me. Yet she never stopped smiling, she never lost her motivation to keep on striving. She was more mature than me and now looking back on it I wish to high heaven that I could apologize to her. For being such a cruel and mean human being. I wish I could take it all back, I know that she could have been a truly great friend. This acquaintance reminds me of a current friend that I also don't treat very well, we are sometimes in contact, yet our schedules are different and I find that trying to connect just takes too much effort. It takes time and commitment to stay in contact with friends, the same goes for relationships. I feel like I am wired different, that yes I consider people my friends but when I come around to talking to you I will, but for now I am going to act like I am all alone. Getting back to the point, this meeting. This interaction that will shine some light down on me, hopefully I will grow from this conversation. I want to admit that I am doing a task, a hobby, that truly makes me happy. This is major for me as not many things make me 100% HAPPY. I'm committing to a plan and I will not deviate, I will work hard, I will strive to do my very best. I will Think and Be positive. I want to thank you for listening, for being patient with me, for still waiting for me. I won't let you down. I will make a name for myself and I will show you how far I'll go. And last but not least I will appreciate you for the rest of my life. I am forever grateful for you and I can't wait to see where I will be in the future.

Thank You, 

Your new friend!

Letter to my Mother

 

Hello, I wanted to start this letter off by saying I love you. I may not be the best at always expressing my love, but just know as you love me, I love you back. I want to thank you for all that you've done for me, for being supportive through all my hardships, for worrying about me, for keeping me safe, and for always being there at any time. I also wanted to tell you that, I forgive you. I understand that you've made some hard decisions that have impacted my life. I admit I was a tough child, I wasn't always the best and with me jumping around to different schools due to my behavior. It must have been tough.  But alas all is fine, I made it through elementary school, through middle to high school. I admit further education is not going to happen for a little while, but someday I will get a degree or certificate, to know that I can be like my brother. I love you mom, I love the way that you listen to me when I vent, I love that you always know when something is bothering me. I love that we share the same taste in music, that we can have fun by ourselves. I love that you still take care of me, that I'm still your clueless daughter, that still has some learning to do. Yes, I admit that cooking is foreign for me, I question every step when following a recipe, and yes I do call you each time if I don't understand the recipe. I love how you put up with me, I seem to have racing thoughts and have been known to ramble while talking and writing. That reminds me I should get back to the point. Mom, you light up my world, you are my biggest fan, you are such an amazing woman. You are my inspiration to be smart, to do good, to make a difference, and to love others like you've loved me. I will always need your guidance, I will need your love, and your constant support. The constant light in the darkness. I admit I am scared that when you eventually pass away, I won't know what to do, I won't who to turn to, I'm scare my mental illness will make me do something stupid. That might be one of the reasons why I am scared to grow up further, why I want to spend as much time with you as possible. But that is taking a depressing note, and this letter is supposed to be happy and loving. Again back to the point. I want to finish by saying I love you over and over again. I Love You to the moon and back to Pluto and the farthest galaxy away. Also thank you for everything that has happened in the past to what is going to happen towards the future. 

P.S. If you cry while reading this, that was not my intention, I wanted you to know the reasons why you make me proud. Why you're my shining light at the end of the tunnel. You mean so much to me. 

I Love You

Your Daughter